And hey, happy halloweeny, folks.

Hope you’re staying warm and cozy.
xo Anna

I saw something out in the garden a few weeks ago I meant to tell you about…

I snuck up on the mysterious beast…

We made eye contact through the leaves…

It was a playful creature, he seemed to delight on playing hide and seek!

I almost caught him by the tail…

But he could hear me coming (with those magnificent ears) and ran off again…

Ah ha! I’ve got you now!

I made this stuffy for my nephew’s first birthday. C went to a Tiger Cat’s game, and while she was away I whipped him up… no pattern, of course, which is why he’s a bit wonky unique, and uhm, TV shaped.  It made a hell of a mess! Between the minky and the kapok stuffing there was wispy, static-y fuzz everywhere. His body is super soft microfiber minky, face is linen, nose and horns are leather, teeth are felt, button eyes. I stuffed him with kapok I had leftover from some Looolo pillows, so he’s super, duper cushy. He’s also about as big as my nephew. Heh. Oh well, he’ll grow into it…

And then last week while I was in BC, I made a couple of little (and far less ambitious) teddies for my honorary twin nieces, V&B:

Relatively speaking, they’re very simple; just two identical layers of that righteous rainbow fleece stitched together. The special thing is that they are densely stuffed and I designed their arms and legs curvy like that so that they can link up. Dancing bears! And when they’re not holding hands, they look like they’re flexing their muscles. Heh heh.

These bears are much more baby-appropriate sized than that green beastie is! The girls’ hands are just big enough to grab a bear arm. So cute, those little hands…

It was great to be in BC for a few weeks. It is amazing to see how the twins have grown since this time last year. Sigh. I love all these babes so much. And their parents. And my parents. It’s hard to live away from all of them. After two weeks away in the lush teeming green with some of my very favourite people, I’ve got a typical case of the post-vacation blues today, which you probably can’t grok from all the smiley photos above, but I assure you, it’s all frowns over here today. My house feel cold and inert, the traffic louder and grittier than I remember, and I’m really regretting the procrastination that seemed like such a good idea a couple weeks ago. I feel sad and discombobulated. I’m sure it doesn’t help that while away I almost totally abandoned my hard-won daily wellness routine (wake early, meditation, exercise, plenty of time outside, writing practice, study, sensible diet, no caffeine, no alcohol) that I know helps me feel more even keeled.  Even though no one else has ever given me a hard time about it at all, I have this internal dialogue that tells me that that disciplined self-care is Excessive, Ridiculous, Embarrassing, and Really Not Very Much Fun. Boo! Why is it difficult to learn these lessons?

But I digress. I’ve got to learn to stop wishing and expecting that somehow I will find a way to fold the country up like a map so that I can stroll easily from place to place and pop over for goodnight hugs whenever I like.  At least they’ve got my homemade stuffed animals to hug. I hope they can feel the love!

Okay, so why am I laughing, particularly, besides the obvious? Because I’m looking Wehrli’s before-and-after parking lot photos:

And I’m thinking of my own photos from our week at the cottage….

beach rocks sorted by colour, natch

I spent a couple of hours every day we were at the cottage beach combing, and honestly I could probably happily would have done it all day, save for inhibitions about what one “should” do at the cottage – namely, eat, sleep, be social… The rocks all along the coast of lake Huron are just beautiful. Such a diversity of colours! I mean, on the west coast you sort of get your grey rocks, your dark gray rocks, your pale grey rocks, your speckled grey rocks, your nearly black grey rocks, and sometimes, some quartz. But this area on Huron lake is full of amazing coloured rocks! I’ve blogged about this before. My enthusiasm hasn’t abated. I could have gleefully sorted that whole beach into rainbow order, if I’d had enough time!

The funny thing is, even while I was enjoying myself so much, making my little piles of orange, green, and red rocks, I felt silly doing it. I kept scolding myself for not looking up to soak in the enormous sky, the seemingly endless water – you know, as if there is a hierarchy of ways in which to fully appreciate the beauty of a place like this, and I was *doing it wrong* by enjoying myself so much with this mindless colourplay.

Oh dear. Inhibitions. I have so very many!

So what a joy to see some other artist having been stricken with a similar obsession with colour and order, take it to this wonderful extreme. I love it!

And now, for more pictures of pretty rocks. Smee

And if you read my post about stones from Bruce County about a year ago, you’ll notice that the little babe joyfully announced in that post is the same tyke picture above. Happy first birthday, Ryan!

No, you can’t eat that rock.

May you be well, friends. xo Anna

It’s funny, because I wouldn’t say that I identify as a writer – I didn’t pick it up looking for a writer’s guide. It was the title that caught me – wild mind. It stuck to me like burdock burrs when I the words on the spine, and so I picked it off the shelf and packed it into the cardboard box without even grazing a little to see if I liked the flavour. It is one of several dozen that C and I recently were gifted out of the retiring library of her step-grand-dad, who now lives in a retirement home, and whose lifetime of books is seeking new owners before the remnants are entombed in my father-in-law’s basement. At first I was a bit choosy and particular about the books I selected  - I’ve almost entirely given up on reading fiction these days (I don’t need any help telling stories and derailing into flights of fantasy, thankyouverymuch!) so I was feeling cautious about bringing too many home. But then I realized – hey, free books! How could that not be a wonderful thing? If it turns out some are not a good fit for me then I will pass them along to others. I love that about books: Unlike lots of other goods, books don’t diminish in use value with age and prior use. Providing that they haven’t been used and abused into disrepair, second hand books just kind of get better and better.

So, this book. Wild Mind.

I don’t know which I feel more keenly — the moaning longing to have a wild mind of my own, or the terror that my mind might be already too wild to play well with others. Either way – I feel like Natalie would know what I mean. There is a paragraph in the introduction that describes the breakdown between teachings and practice, that made me gasp aloud with that kind of laugh-cry “Ah-ha” expression that happens when you see your own experience mirrored in someone else’s words:

We can take a class from a writer but it is not enough. In class, we don’t see how a writer organizes her day, or dreams up writing ideas. We sit in a class and learn what narrative is but we can’t figure out how to do it. A does not lead to B. We can’t make that kamikaze leap. So writing is always over there in the novels on the shelves or discussed on class blackboards and we are over here in our seats. I know many people who are aching to be writers and have no idea how to begin. There is a great gap like an open wound.

She’s talking about writing, being a writer, but I read her words and understand them to be about any practice, and I feel them for myself, this re-learning that I’m doing about how to just be human. Many people have told me, “Oh, you’re an artist whether you make your living from art or not”, but I wonder. Am I an artist if I don’t make art? A friend told me once that I would be an artist whether or not I ever made a single piece of work again, that it is about perspective. What does that mean? All I know is that I know that gap that Natalie is talking about, that open wound.

So I’m taking her advice, for now. I went to the corner store yesterday and bought myself a cheap lined notebook for $1.45 to use for writing practice. I figure, whether I identify as a writer or not, I do write - particularly I write here, for you. I was moved by your comments on my last post. Thank you for taking the time to say “I”m listening”. You’ve inspired me to risk sharing more of my naked thoughts here. I’ve always thought this blog writing could be more than it has been, and I’ve wondered why I couldn’t seem to drum up the kind of responsiveness I’ve craved – a sparkling dialogue of mutual discovery and honesty. But I realized after reading your comments that it’s not you – it’s me. I’ve been so guarded here. How could I lie to you and expect honesty in return? I’ve been so tight and contrived, squeezing with all my might, trying to turn all this charcoal into a shiny diamond, hoping no one will notice that blackness inside it. It’s so false! I’ve been trying to be just one more blog in the sea of Perfect Shiny My Life is Wonderful websites out there (which I should say, a part of me loves, actually, and I subscribe to several hundred) – but rarely do you see the unmade bed or the empty fridge, the truancy or the fights with loved ones, or the heartache and doubt that everything is steeped in. Ah ha! It’s a giddy kind of liberation to have decided to experiment with writing more freely here. I’m not quite sure I believe whole-heartedly yet that it’s a wise thing to do. I mean, my Professional Reputation might be affected, mighten’t it? Well shit. I guess I’d rather be known as an honest artist than a sane one, if I have to choose.

The foundations of the writing practice that Natalie suggests are regular, 10 minute timed writing exercises, and a few rules:

1. Keep your hand moving.

2. Lose control.

3. Be specific.

4. Don’t think.

5. Don’t worry about punctuation, spelling, or grammar.

6. You are free to write the worst junk on earth.

7. Go for the jugular.

It’s advice that could be about anything, the spirit of it cuts away hesitation and conditioning and urges me to just be, just do, in a way I’d like to learn to carry into my whole life – numbers 2, 4, 6 & 7, specifically. Yeah, so I’ve got some lofty goals… maybe it’s a lot to ask from a simple writing practice, you say? Maybe… but I figure it’s all related, right? The writing bone is connected to the heart bone?

I’ve liked the writing sessions so far because they’ve opened a little door again into the flow, that magical state of mind I could sometimes reach when painting, where I couldn’t be sure of what was happening at all, where the painting would paint itself, and I’d feel washed out and rinsed clean afterwards. I’ve missed visiting that brain wave this summer. It’s also a lot like sitting meditation — except rather than trying to dismiss thoughts and stay with  my breath, I can drain them out my arm onto the page. I have no idea what I’ve written so far – I’ve not reread any of it yet. It doesn’t even matter! The writing itself feels good.

Have any of you read Natalie Goldberg? Do you write? What are your practices?

One morning I found a bee taking shelter from the rain, tucked into this sunflower

But that sense has been creeping back…

I have little glimpses.

Not enough to name, or hold, or understand… but flashes. Flickers, like fireflies blinking on and off mysteriously over the marsh, like so many glowing, solemn eyes.

Maybe that can be enough?

(Enough for what??)

But all these thoughts and feelings and ideas, they seem far too vast and intangible to write about. So I have mostly stayed away.

It’s seeming to me now that perhaps I need to learn a whole new way of living, of being. In my moments of buoyancy lately I’ve noticed I still have this lingering thought that “soon I will get back to my normal life, the way things were.” But gee, Anna… what the hell is normal, and do I really want the state that had come to pass as normal, for me? When was this mythical time of ‘before’ that you’re pining after? Before feelings of despair and anxiety shrouded the world with so many “Danger-Do-Not-Enter” signs? Can I even remember a time in my adult life that was free from those feelings? (No.) This winter was certainly some kind of nadir in the trajectory, but nothing new, per se.

You know, I am actually glad to have bottomed out so painfully… otherwise I think I could have gone on in that desensitized state indefinitely. Slowing leaking air and deflating a little more every day, and just thinking hey, that’s just life.

Ah, right. So why am I back here writing today? Because the kinds words of a fellow traveler this morning jolted my self perception seriously for a second, with their incongruity. She thinks I’m sort of awesome. How is it that I can feel like such a sack of shit so much of the time, and out there somewhere, there’s this fine human being thinking that I’m doing something right?

Sometimes I just don’t understand life at all.

The bud

stands for all things,

even for those things that don’t flower,

for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;

though sometimes it is necessary

to reteach a thing its loveliness,

to put a hand on the brow

of the flower,

and retell it in words and in touch,

it is lovely

until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing

- Galway Kinnell

I’ve been spending a lot of time in the garden lately, and other people’s gardens too, since I’ve begun a part-time job gardening a couple of days a week. Things are flowering, setting fruit; the world is green. It’s been good to get outside so much, out-of-doors, out of the studio, out of my head. You notice a lot of things, when you’re done on your knees with your hands in the dirt. Like, how life is pretty good, when you’re calm and grounded enough to notice.

From an early age, play is important to a child’s development and learning. It isn’t just physical. It can involve cognitive, imaginative, creative, emotional and social aspects. It is the main way most children express their impulse to explore, experiment and understand. Children of all ages play.

-from Learning Space on openlearn.open.ac.uk (emphasis mine)

I ran across this quotation today on one of my favourite inspiring creative blogs – Daintytime – and it got me to thinking. (thinking enough, even, to jolt me out of this blogging drought I seem to have fallen into lately and bring the question to you, so that’s saying something)

Why do we consider play the domain only of children? What’s with that?!

What do you think? I’d be interested in hearing what some of you who have more knowledge of conventional psychology or who are educators and/or parents have to say on the topic. Do we really just ‘develop’ as children, and then at some magical cusp, reach full development and coast into completion as adults, fully formed, poised and realized, there to remain, still and inert and finished? Maybe you can tell from that last sentence that I truly don’t want to believe in that — certainly my own life doesn’t look or feel like that’s the path I’m on. Nor would I want it to. Doesn’t it sound a bit… boring? And stressful? Don’t you think that us “grown ups” should get to continue to explore, experiment, and understand, too?

Is it just that as adults we come up with fancier or more specific names for play? What sorts of things do you guys do that allows you to express and explore these important impulses?

I want to be a work in progress ’til the day I die. Are you with me?

67/365 -- doodling at the Heart of the Hammer. See the rest of my daily photos by clicking here to go to flickr!

Friday night was my ‘Doodle-Mingle’ at the Heart of the Hammer Cafe & Bar where my art is showing this month (aka art opening/reception).  I covered the tables with paper, put out crayons, and wrote doodle prompts on each of the tables to encourage people to play and talk to each other. It was a great time and by the end of the evening all the tables were covered in colourful scribbly masterpieces. And I think people liked my artwork, too…

I’m wondering if there is something I can do for the fundraiser in May, an activity or decoration I can add to my 3′x8′ vendor’s table that is in this same spirit. It’s my first time selling at such a big event, and I want to have fun with it and not be too too formal, but this doodling idea isn’t feasible with the small space and high traffic. Do you have any ideas as to how can I make my table inviting and interactive? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

]]> http://freeplaycraft.wordpress.com/2011/04/18/paper-crayons-or-how-to-have-a-good-time/feed/ 2 freeplaycraft hands http://freeplaycraft.wordpress.com/2011/04/14/creative-diy-art-show-display-ideas/ http://freeplaycraft.wordpress.com/2011/04/14/creative-diy-art-show-display-ideas/#comments Thu, 14 Apr 2011 21:12:23 +0000 Anna Borstad http://freeplaycraft.wordpress.com/?p=699 ]]> So in a couple of weeks I’m going to be having baby’s first art fair experience, and I haven’t any way to display my prints and greeting cards at the event. And no budget. What’s a girl to do?

Let the internet searches begin!

Peace Owl has a cute display... and a fort!

Suitcases: either right-side up and open, like Peace Owl has them here, or propped up on one side = a great prop to add height and keep small prints and cards organized. I wish I was going to have room to build a sweet fort like she did at her latest fair:

Furniture: Cupboards, shelves, you name it… from your own home or bought cheaply at garage sales. Practical display space, and just funky and unique looking. Has character.

A nice credenza in the booth by VintageButterfly94

Multiples of the same ready-made furniture looks professional and is a nice backdrop for potters Tashamck's work

Custom-made DIY booths: They look really cool, organized, possessional… custom built means that display and storage can be integrated into one sleek and tidy package. This one reminds me a bit in shape and size of a chip wagon.

the Tugboat Printshop booth

Unusual display racks for small items — check out this split bamboo shelving unit. Super. Also crystal dishes, metal plates (oh! shiny!) and baskets.

split bamboo display shelves by josiebutter on flickr

Signage: Gotta have your name out there! I love how Lush Lampworks used big colourful posters to show details of their jewelery and give information about how their product is made. Without the posters this booth would be a bit drab and lacking in height, but with the posters it’s super eye-catching.

bunting and vintage lace table cloths used to good effect by Lyrebird

Decorative elements: Tablecloths, flowers, bunting… pretty things other than the wares you’re hawking add visual interest and set a mood. I really like the country feel of the jam and soap booth above… feels like a picnic.

Lovely display by the super talented Katie Daisy

And then there’s Katie Daisy’s display above…. I love just everything about it. It has a colour  scheme! It has bunting! And baskets! And a gaudy gold frame (oh, shiny!) And practical hinging pegboard to display her prints. And a cute bouquet of flowers. I think I’ve found my muse….

Hmmm, inspiration tastes delicious. Now I’m off to the drawing board to dream up my own display. I’ll let you know how it goes!

Hope you’re enjoying a sunny day out there, darlings.

xo Anna

I made a lot of stamps as Christmas presents last year – here are my favourites. Ex Libris stamps for my Dad and brother:

And an artichoke stamp for my mom (as per her request):

I really love hand carved stamps and keep meaning to make more – they’re fun to carve and fun to use too. Geninne uses them so effectively… I’ve got a huge artist-crush on her work. I also love the stamps made by local Hamilton artist Corabelle – super cute. I like how hand carved stamps retain an artist’s drawing style, but are bolder, more graphic, more condensed somehow.

Since the holiday season I’ve made myself a few stamps too. I’ve got this idea of having a panoply of tiny unusual animal stamps. My first two efforts:

Wildly differing in scale, ha. Well the elk is tiny at least!

And also a wee froggie.

I made this little star stamp to use on my calendar. (Star marks days that I sat meditation – hearts mark days I went to yoga. It’s a bit kindergarten-y, I admit, but a girl needs all the positive reinforcement she can get!)

What other stamps do you think would be useful or fun?